CMU’s still at it. They’re sending in more abusers this time, and they still read my blog. This is video of the assholes from the fake crisis center refusing to leave. Mother dearest eventually tells them to go because she doesn’t like her abuse being filmed. Last two times the quacks were here, they told my abusers that there’s no such thing as PTSD, that I just needed to be “hurt” in order to snap out of it, and that “being on the streets” would do me good. That not having transportation to shelters wasn’t any excuse, that not having income to pay for food and meds was a “choice I’d have to make”. Lol.

Here’s my mother in the aftermath admitting it was CMU who called them over “that thing I posted the other day”, ie this.

I wonder, does CMU send a goon squad out after everyone who says something bad about them on the internet? Must be exhausting. Is it just me? Is it because they know they’re liable and need to shut me up?

Still enjoying the scandal, CMU? I complained to UPMC about your abuse. You can’t fuck with me anymore. How about you try crank calling 911 instead? Ah, but that’s a felony, while roping idiots into doing your dirty work for you “absolves” you of responsibility. I’ll send them the tapes if you try for the cops. Do you really want them coming after you, with four years of your trash to fuel it?

But we all know you’re going to kill me in the end, because that’s what this harassment and abuse is about. Too bad you didn’t manage that before you got tied to it. Brush up on your mobbing tactics. If you really cared, you wouldn’t have done that to me in the first place. And if you really cared, you’d fix the damage you’ve done, not make it worse.

All you gotta do is pay up the damage you’re causing me. Till then, I have literally nothing to do but talk about your abuse and die under it. You made sure of that.

Now go do something else monumentally stupid. I got my camera ready.

Addendum: What everyone has done here is a violation of HIPAA, among other egregious violations. Parents, for attempting to forcibly involve themselves; CMU, for forcibly involving themselves and for forcibly involving said abusive parents; UPMC’s “crisis” center, for trading information with said abusive parents who have no business being anywhere near me, and who–if you choose their belief that there actually was a medical emergency–also violated several federal laws for impersonating medical officials during a medical emergency and for not calling EMS, which is deliberate/criminal negligence. CMU gets a nod on that last one too, several times over. How’s that for a working list of lawsuits?

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2015-09-28 1 comment

As usual my “brother” started a fight with my “mother”. They fight all the time. Every other fight is about me, because that’s how abuse works–they start fights about other people so that they can shovel the nastiness elsewhere. It’s a normal event in this house. And as usual, this one was about fake outrage over things that don’t exist: whether I was “ruining their lives” by documenting their abuse here, and whether their names were here.

They just did it again. Listen how they alternately claim that it’s all lies, or that everything I talk about is just “personality differences”–which means everything I’ve said is true. Not to mention that they claim their names were on here.

It’s wrong, they say. Morally wrong. None of my business. This is how abusers justify themselves. “You’re endangering ME”, “you’re the abuser”. No wonder CMU likes them.

It’s none of my business that they abuse me. Lol. That’s the line every abuser tells their victim: It’s our little secret, nobody else would understand–I’ll kill you if you tell anyone.

Nope, no abuse here.

CMU must really enjoy scandals. They’re the ones who told my “family” that I was “lying” about them just like I “lied” about what happened at CMU.

Oh, I should add: I didn’t get my meds or my dog’s meds the last time this happened. This time, because of this fight over things that didn’t exist and that they invented, I don’t get anything for Christmas. No, not big fancy crap I don’t need, but stuff like a coat, like shoes to replace the ones that are falling apart–basic necessities denied by people who spend thousands of dollars a week on themselves, who have 50k to waste on hoarding LITERAL trash every year. These are 1%’ers who won’t buy their disabled daughter replacement shoes and a coat.

I haven’t gotten anything since my birthday because of things like this, and now I don’t even get Christmas for things I need. Lol. But remember, they don’t abuse me. It’s all in my head.

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Whore Business

Living with christian fundies would kill anyone. Often does when they get the idea they’re medical doctors or that they need to beat the sin out of you.

This is their latest. It’s been going on all day.

“We did not just say what we just said”, “we did say you’re not disabled when we said you can go work”, “we did not say you’re lying about it when we said you’re lying about being unable to work”, “we did not just say that we know better than the medical doctors when we said that they have no idea what they said to the government”

They think “the internet” is work. My god they’re fucking idiots. Remember when they said that me sitting on the internet was “doing nothing all day”? They can’t stick to one story because that ruins their ability to abuse me.

“Forgiveness”, like there’s anything I’ve done wrong–oh wait, I’m a whore and that’s why all this happened.

Tell the vets they need to forgive themselves for attacking the Afghanis. What leeches they are.

What these assholes are actually concerned about is that my disability means I’ll never move out. I’m so glad they’ve made clear that they want rid of me regardless of the damage it does me, because it’s quite obvious they support my suicide–they just won’t say it. Remember how they didn’t give a damn about how I carved “whore” the other week? It was all about their reputation. It still is.

What’s funny is that they were SO pissed when I wrote them out of all my legal stuff. “How dare you! That’s so stupid of you! You have no idea what you’re doing, now we can’t do anything!” You want to control me or you want me gone, pick one you sick fucks.

They’ve also independently decided that my doctors aren’t useful. Right alongside having bleated about me walking away from doctors “because I didn’t like them”. Apparently the only people allowed to make decisions in my life are these abusive assholes—obviously. Control is what abusers do.

They want me dead. They just don’t want it traced back to them. Lol.

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The Reality of Mental Illness

A lot of psychology textbooks claim that people with mental illnesses and symptoms, such as delusions, panic attacks, hallucinations, or dissociation, do not know they’re having those symptoms. It’s said that those things feel entirely real to the person having them, that there is no way they can tell the difference between the “true perceptions” and the false symptoms.

Boiled down, it’s the idea that people who are “crazy” don’t know they’re “crazy”.

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guess the theme yet?

2015-09-05 1 comment

in case the embed doesn’t work: https://soundcloud.com/warpedellipsis/20150905-at-2037-on-abuse-by

Listen for the parts where they claim they’ve never tried to throw me out, just to immediately do exactly that seconds later. Where they claim I’m there by choice, as if death is a viable option–you’re better than death, what does that day about your treatment of me? But they’re to goddamn stupid to think that much.

Where they claim they don’t abuse me then go right off to trying to force me out, to trying to make me reiterate everything they’ve read here just so they can have the cruel pleasure of denying it again. Where they make sure I know that if ever I try to leave, they’ll run to everyone they know and slander me for the whore that I am until no one will speak to me–you know, until everyone else treats me like they do.

Becausepeople are too fucking stupid to tell the difference between children and property, let alone an ADULT  child they’ve destroyed so much they’ve forced her into dependency and then have the gall to blame her for it.

what kind of damage do you want to bet i have by tomorrow morning? will i still be alive? missing several pints of blood?

lol who cares

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Abuse 3

2015-08-09 1 comment

Mom didn’t pick up my service dog’s ear medicine. She forgets *mine* for days at a time, so this isn’t really out of the ordinary. She put the keys and money on the table for me to go get it myself. Brother started an argument with mother about me taking my SERVICE dog along to go get it: “just leave her here, you don’t need her, it’s ridiculous that you insist on taking it” plus brother’s contributions about “getting ticks and fleas in the car”.

In short, they were being their typical asshole selves, trying to dictate my disability to me. Mother dearest was on the phone with the ISP company *as my brother started this bitching session about my dog*. I’m trying to leave with my dog; I don’t need to talk to anyone, but of course I get screamed at because of the problems that HE started. But it’s ME who gets told that I’m rude for interrupting when *I didn’t start the fucking problem*, it was them trying to insert themselves into my autonomous decisions. They actually believe that they DO have the authority to overrule my medical needs. That’s incredibly ironic given what comes out of their mouths next.

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Thanks assholes

Cmu called my abusive parents, whom they obviously know I now live with because they read this blog, and told them that I was suicidal–because I’m trying to file charges against CMU and their PR can’t have that. The best way to do that? Discredit me by getting me forcibly institutionalized. They told my abusers I’d written about their abuse. That’s the worst thing you can do to an abuse victim, tell their abusers. Thanks, assholes. You just made everything so much worse. Keep on “helping”. They’ve taken the internet. I have no way to get support. They’re taking my medical access. Good job. Wait for the obituary. Go call them again, make things even worse. This is how cmu treats the people who need help: they do the worst thing possible, claiming they want to help, and deliberately make it worse.

Because they don’t want my story marring their PR. They’re the ones who crippled me and caused this, they’re the reason I’m being abused, they’re the reason I can’t get out. So, they correctly reasoned, telling my abusers will cause said abusers to shut me up and cmu’s potential image problem goes away.


You know why. This is about image management, not about “my best interests”. Same as it was years ago, as it always has been. Asinine meddlers. Even if I was still a student there, they’d have no right to say anything to my parents–HIPAA and other privacy shit. I’m now an adult off their campus, and they pull this? Good going assholes.

Also got these



Look at the lies

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