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guess the theme yet?

2015-09-05

in case the embed doesn’t work: https://soundcloud.com/warpedellipsis/20150905-at-2037-on-abuse-by

Listen for the parts where they claim they’ve never tried to throw me out, just to immediately do exactly that seconds later. Where they claim I’m there by choice, as if death is a viable option–you’re better than death, what does that day about your treatment of me? But they’re to goddamn stupid to think that much.

Where they claim they don’t abuse me then go right off to trying to force me out, to trying to make me reiterate everything they’ve read here just so they can have the cruel pleasure of denying it again. Where they make sure I know that if ever I try to leave, they’ll run to everyone they know and slander me for the whore that I am until no one will speak to me–you know, until everyone else treats me like they do.

Becausepeople are too fucking stupid to tell the difference between children and property, let alone an ADULT  child they’ve destroyed so much they’ve forced her into dependency and then have the gall to blame her for it.

what kind of damage do you want to bet i have by tomorrow morning? will i still be alive? missing several pints of blood?

lol who cares


20150906-0300: I should clarify that the “family therapist” in there met me a grand total of ONE times. The cunt had been talking to the rest of these jackasses for a few months at that point. She had decided, based on their information, that I lied about CMU, that I lied about everything, that these people weren’t classic textbook abusers. She told them to throw me out of the house, knowing that I had nowhere else to go–she literally told them to let me die in the streets because it would “teach me a lesson” and “snap me out of this princess entitlement”. That’s the therapist they’re praising so much.

Who, incidentally, made the abuse worse because she validated it. Who did nothing to “help” anything in the house. The hoarding has been vindicated, the alcoholism has been justified. Their treatment of and beliefs about me reinforced. Super fucking fun.

You see how a little bit of “knowledge” can do a whole lot of damage here? Give abusers the language of academia and medicalism, they’ll learn nothing and use it against you. Sad thing is that most people in this country are too fucking stupid to tell the difference between abuse and proper behavior. It wasn’t so long ago that Freud reigned supreme. People still believe his claptrap to this day–there’s a “professional” operating right here working with the worst of debunked psychology.

While we’re on about how much of a failure of a person I am, about how awful I am, let’s see how wonderful this other child of theirs is–the one they claim I’m “harassing” and “cyberbullying” and “doing so much damage to”.

This is their lovely little golden baby boy, talking to mother cunt. Absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior at all. He acts just like she does–oh, that’s why they don’t object, he acts just like she does. Throws a fit, cusses, denies what he’s doing as he does it, and most importantly they don’t blame him for his behavior. It probably helps that he loves when they control him, doing everything from deciding his class schedule to making his medical appointments and decisions for him. He *wants* that. And yes, that’s another thing the crank family therapist recommended to “improve” their relationship. That file is from February 2015, but you can tell from listening that these things had been going on for months. They’d been happening since I moved in the previous June, who knows how long before that.

I think it’s funny that she calls him an “evil fucking bastard” for doing the same things she does to me.

20150906-1304: They’re all going somewhere for a “family event”. Everyone approaches separately and acts as if nothing has ever happened, as if last night and the last twenty some years has never happened. “You coming with us?” they sweetly ask, saccharine smiles on their faces, like they’ve never called me a whore. Like they’ve not damaged me beyond repair, like they don’t see they bloody word carved into my arm as a souvenir from last night’s brush with suicide. “What a snot, what a fucking whore, how disappointing,” they tsk as I ignore them.

That’s how they’ve always been. They took the same relish in calling me a witch when I was a toddler, then pulling this same shit. It’s no wonder why I got raped, why I had such shitty friends; they set me up for it–this behavior is called grooming. The predatory kind that people mean when they talk about pedophiles grooming children for abuse.

Not to mention that they think it’s fine to threaten to kill me, to threaten “dire consequences”–was the point of that to actually threaten it, was it just to say it to be cruel, was it a bait and switch? Any of those options are abusive.

(1) If you don’t take them seriously and then have the gall to ask for something, to assume you’re still included, you get a beat down–I’ve tried it and documented it here. Things only get worse.

(2) If you assume it is serious, this here is what happens–you’re treated like *you’re* the problem for “making a big deal of nothing”, for “making yourself a victim”. How dare you act like you know what they said, they never said that, you heard them deny it, it never happened. You’re the fucking whore, you bitch, stop making up lies.

(3) If you play along and wait for the other shoe to drop, that’s classic abuse. They’ll be nasty, then get all sweet right after to “make up for it”, damn you to hell if you don’t accept the “implied” apology that’s not an apology because it’s your own goddamn fault in the first place and they didn’t do anything wrong.

You’re not allowed to act as if they’ve done something wrong. You’re not allowed to punish them for their behavior. You’re not allowed to shatter the veneer of the perfect family they beat us into maintaining. That veneer is why no one believes what really goes on in the house, why no one believes there’s filth in every corner, that the bathrooms and toilets get cleaned only four times a year. They don’t believe that these people will spend $40k a year on trash to stuff into the basement, literally, but begrudge me a dollar for gas to go to the doctor.

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  1. 2015-09-06 at 18:49
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