Posts Tagged ‘abuse’


Do you know what love looks like? I do.

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2015-09-30 Comments off

CMU’s still at it. They’re sending in more abusers this time, and they still read my blog. This is video of the assholes from the fake crisis center refusing to leave. Mother dearest eventually tells them to go because she doesn’t like her abuse being filmed. Last two times the quacks were here, they told my abusers that there’s no such thing as PTSD, that I just needed to be “hurt” in order to snap out of it, and that “being on the streets” would do me good. That not having transportation to shelters wasn’t any excuse, that not having income to pay for food and meds was a “choice I’d have to make”. Lol.

Here’s my mother in the aftermath admitting it was CMU who called them over “that thing I posted the other day”, ie this.

I wonder, does CMU send a goon squad out after everyone who says something bad about them on the internet? Must be exhausting. Is it just me? Is it because they know they’re liable and need to shut me up?

Still enjoying the scandal, CMU? I complained to UPMC about your abuse. You can’t fuck with me anymore. How about you try crank calling 911 instead? Ah, but that’s a felony, while roping idiots into doing your dirty work for you “absolves” you of responsibility. I’ll send them the tapes if you try for the cops. Do you really want them coming after you, with four years of your trash to fuel it?

But we all know you’re going to kill me in the end, because that’s what this harassment and abuse is about. Too bad you didn’t manage that before you got tied to it. Brush up on your mobbing tactics. If you really cared, you wouldn’t have done that to me in the first place. And if you really cared, you’d fix the damage you’ve done, not make it worse.

All you gotta do is pay up the damage you’re causing me. Till then, I have literally nothing to do but talk about your abuse and die under it. You made sure of that.

Now go do something else monumentally stupid. I got my camera ready.

Addendum: What everyone has done here is a violation of HIPAA, among other egregious violations. Parents, for attempting to forcibly involve themselves; CMU, for forcibly involving themselves and for forcibly involving said abusive parents; UPMC’s “crisis” center, for trading information with said abusive parents who have no business being anywhere near me, and who–if you choose their belief that there actually was a medical emergency–also violated several federal laws for impersonating medical officials during a medical emergency and for not calling EMS, which is deliberate/criminal negligence. CMU gets a nod on that last one too, several times over. How’s that for a working list of lawsuits?

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guess the theme yet?

2015-09-05 1 comment

in case the embed doesn’t work:

Listen for the parts where they claim they’ve never tried to throw me out, just to immediately do exactly that seconds later. Where they claim I’m there by choice, as if death is a viable option–you’re better than death, what does that day about your treatment of me? But they’re to goddamn stupid to think that much.

Where they claim they don’t abuse me then go right off to trying to force me out, to trying to make me reiterate everything they’ve read here just so they can have the cruel pleasure of denying it again. Where they make sure I know that if ever I try to leave, they’ll run to everyone they know and slander me for the whore that I am until no one will speak to me–you know, until everyone else treats me like they do.

Becausepeople are too fucking stupid to tell the difference between children and property, let alone an ADULT  child they’ve destroyed so much they’ve forced her into dependency and then have the gall to blame her for it.

what kind of damage do you want to bet i have by tomorrow morning? will i still be alive? missing several pints of blood?

lol who cares

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Abuse 3

2015-08-09 1 comment

Mom didn’t pick up my service dog’s ear medicine. She forgets *mine* for days at a time, so this isn’t really out of the ordinary. She put the keys and money on the table for me to go get it myself. Brother started an argument with mother about me taking my SERVICE dog along to go get it: “just leave her here, you don’t need her, it’s ridiculous that you insist on taking it” plus brother’s contributions about “getting ticks and fleas in the car”.

In short, they were being their typical asshole selves, trying to dictate my disability to me. Mother dearest was on the phone with the ISP company *as my brother started this bitching session about my dog*. I’m trying to leave with my dog; I don’t need to talk to anyone, but of course I get screamed at because of the problems that HE started. But it’s ME who gets told that I’m rude for interrupting when *I didn’t start the fucking problem*, it was them trying to insert themselves into my autonomous decisions. They actually believe that they DO have the authority to overrule my medical needs. That’s incredibly ironic given what comes out of their mouths next.

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Thanks assholes

Cmu called my abusive parents, whom they obviously know I now live with because they read this blog, and told them that I was suicidal–because I’m trying to file charges against CMU and their PR can’t have that. The best way to do that? Discredit me by getting me forcibly institutionalized. They told my abusers I’d written about their abuse. That’s the worst thing you can do to an abuse victim, tell their abusers. Thanks, assholes. You just made everything so much worse. Keep on “helping”. They’ve taken the internet. I have no way to get support. They’re taking my medical access. Good job. Wait for the obituary. Go call them again, make things even worse. This is how cmu treats the people who need help: they do the worst thing possible, claiming they want to help, and deliberately make it worse.

Because they don’t want my story marring their PR. They’re the ones who crippled me and caused this, they’re the reason I’m being abused, they’re the reason I can’t get out. So, they correctly reasoned, telling my abusers will cause said abusers to shut me up and cmu’s potential image problem goes away.


You know why. This is about image management, not about “my best interests”. Same as it was years ago, as it always has been. Asinine meddlers. Even if I was still a student there, they’d have no right to say anything to my parents–HIPAA and other privacy shit. I’m now an adult off their campus, and they pull this? Good going assholes.

Also got these

Look at the lies

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Abuse II

2015-06-01 1 comment

This just happened. My younger brother was making nasty remarks at me for quite a while before I started recording. Mother sat by and did nothing, even encouraging him to be worse and agreeing with him.

This family is extremely homophobic; in an attempt to be mean enough to make them stop, I call him a “queer”, because that’s one of the worst things he could be in their eyes. It doesn’t work.

He starts fights like this all the time. Mom takes the bait, defending him, dragging me, and eventually my pompous asshole father joins in at the end. They reference my PTSD that I got from being assaulted, which they deny and deliberately make worse. He literally says that my calling them abusive and that my having a service dog–I have the papers for her, mind–is a delusion, that I belong in a mental hospital because of those things. This is why they don’t listen to me at all, about anything (not even the fact that the drain was clogged). These people are too self-righteous to ask fucking Siri the requirements for a service dog in this country. I literally tell him to google it, he refuses and denies that anything on the internet could be true. Apparently he can’t tell what’s real information even when my life is on the line.

Remember earlier that they wouldn’t accept that I’m disabled? Here, you’d think they have–but you’d be wrong. My status is whatever suits them at the time. He says I belong in a mental hospital, but had I challenged him to answer whether that meant I was diabled, he’d have said no, that I was making it all up. All while insisting that I belong in a mental hospital. This is how abuse works: there is no logic except what suits their immediate self-interest.

I need to get out of this house. But I can’t work, shelters don’t allow even a service dog, and I can’t pay for my dog’s special food even if I could bring her. I don’t even have money for the dollar or so copays for my meds.

It looks like I’m not going to get anything out of my recent open letter asking for help. That was my only shot at getting out of here.

My official options are to live with this, or suicide. You know how that’s going to end.

Let me be the first to thank everyone who contributed to this decision. CMU, OCR, my asshole parents. I’ll add more people if I’m still alive later. Thank god I signed a will writing them out of control of my accounts. Not like they’d know where to look anyway. Ha ha, fuckers. I, the author, give you no right to seize my accounts, to memorialize them, to delete them, or to alter them in any way. Not that you’d think I have a life outside of your knowledge, you pompous fucks.

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Abusing PTSD: Snapshot

2015-05-15 1 comment

Remember when I said my parents were the Dursleys, from Harry Potter? I wasn’t exaggerating.

They take CMU’s side and don’t see that there was anything to be upset about. Both parents and my younger brother constantly make comments about my “disability”–“oh, I forgot, she can’t because she has PTSD”, “oh look at this person on the news, their stickers got ripped, they’re so traumatized, they need a service dog”, “Mom, I can’t shower unless I have a service dog”. Mother regularly tries to prevent me from getting to my medical appointments, from hiding the keys to blocking the exits and refusing to give me parking money. Both parents have forced me to leave my service dog behind or into making up excuses for why I can’t go to some event. I know they trash me to the people at said events because everyone there has more concern than normally necessary when they see me next.

Everyone else knows what’s going on. They know about all of this. As is usual in this family, nothing is done because they either agree with it or refuse to intervene. If you do not acknowledge the problem, then there is no problem.

You see, my family don’t see why I would object to anything that CMU did because they treat me the same way CMU did, deliberately inflaming my PTSD. They treat me the same way that my harassers did. Still do. Worse, though, because at least my harassers were consistent about it and never pretended to care. I wasn’t dependent upon them for basic life necessities, for safety, for access to healthcare.

Here, my brother harasses my dog for a solid four minutes. It’d been going on long before that, but I didn’t get that on tape. Mother yells at him to shut up halfway through, but of course he starts right back up again. She doesn’t care unless it bothers her–she’s literally said “he’s not harassing it, that’s just how he plays with it”, and “it’s just a dog, it doesn’t matter how he acts with it, you treat that thing better than you treat us”. In that recording, you hear her say his behavior is “scaring her”, but then she turns right around and denies it’s any kind of problem when I say anything about it. Selfish bitch.

Just listen to this one. It needs no commentary. Their favorite comments to me are some version of “parasitic liberal whore”. They’re careful to avoid the actual words because that way they get to deny they said it. We’ll just ignore that they outright deny things anyhow.

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